forgiveness
by abbyli
Summary: He feels his fangs elongate for the first time in years as the rage shoots through him. "You killed my brother!" elena/elijah, elijah/kol


**title: **forgiveness  
**summery: **He rages, feeling his fangs starting to elongate for the first time in years. "You killed my brother!"  
**pairing: **elena/elijah, elijah/kol brotherly  
**rating: **T  
**disclaimer: **I own nothing.  
**notes: **Daniel Gillies said that when he returns in this season, Elijah would vamp out. I do think that he will vamp out either when Klaus tells him that Kol is dead or when he confronts Elena.

* * *

It was different from the time that he had thought Niklaus was dead.

He had grieved knowing that he done what he could to protect his brother and in the end, it had not been enough. It was his own moral code that he could not break and so he grieved, accepted it, and moved on. It was less than a few weeks later when Rebekah had called him, angry and pissy but also very happy, telling him that Niklaus was alive and well and he had just kicked the crap out of her for destroying the rest of Elena's blood.

It was then when he learned Elena was a vampire.

A vampire.

That perfect little creature, so full of compassion and love, was now a creature of the night.

He wanted to go to her. He wanted to be with her and make sure that she was okay, that she was dealing. He wondered which Salvatore was her sire-probably the older one. Even in his ripper days, Stefan had more control when it came to this girl.

He wanted to rip Rebekah's throat out for ending her beautiful life. He wanted to make Rebekah feel the agony that he was feeling, the pain, and the grief.

He had gotten there in time after Rebekah had informed him of what she was doing. He got there in time to see Stefan fishing an unconscious Elena out of the water and doing what he could to save her.

He had thought she was okay.

He could not have been more wrong.

* * *

"Kol's dead."

He wondered if he needed to get his hearing checked.

"Excuse me?"

Niklaus took in a deep breath. Elijah could see the pain, the grief behind those eyes. Then he knew it was true.

"No," he breathed, a hand going to cover his mouth. "No, no, no. I _just talked _to him! I talked to him two days ago, he was fine!"

Niklaus shook his head, hot tears spilling from his eyes. Elijah couldn't remember the last time he had seen his brother cry, let alone grieve so horrendously.

"He was a sacrifice. A pawn for the search for this idiotic cure," Niklaus says quietly, pressing a palm to his eyes. "The doppelganger and her brother, they lured him into their house and staked him with the White Oak stake. I tried to get there in time but there was nothing I could do to stop it. He-" A sob escaped his throat. "-He died right in front of me, screaming in agony..."

Someone else had said those words to him before, a tearful Rebekah whispering those words. And it was then when they had done everything they could to save their brother because of the great loss of life that would have ensured along with his death.

But he never thought that Elena...that she was capable of doing something like this.

Never.

"Do you want to know the worst part of it?" Niklaus said a few moments later once he had gotten control of his emotions. "The worst part of it is that Kol died thinking I didn't care about him. He wanted to stop them from finding the cure because it would bring around the end of the world and I realized too late that he wasn't lying. He died thinking I hated him. That I wanted him to be dead."

That when it finally hit home. That was when it came flooding into his heart and into his mind.

Kol was dead.

His baby brother was dead.

* * *

He is alarmed when he hears another voice when he comes up to the boarding house. A voice that belongs to the young vampire that his remaining brother is so infatuated with.

"_This isn't how we are supposed to be, Elena! You have sunk as low as them, don't you understand?!" _

He can hear Elena's voice too, trying to find some compassion in that heart of hers that he was sure was blackening away quite quickly.

"_He was going to kill Jeremy, Caroline." _

"_If you had never set that stupid trap for him, if you had never invited him into your house, none of this would have ever happened. You have eaten your own words from when Esther wanted to kill her kids. You killed the good along with the bad." _

"_Caroline-" _

"_No! No, Elena! I'm done. I'm done. I am sick of this because your stupidity, you are going to get me killed in the process. I love you but I'm done with you. Have a nice life, Elena." _

Elijah tries to fade away into the afternoon light as he hears Caroline's footfalls. The door opens wide and slams into the brick and the plaster, causing it to crackle and shatter. His eyes widen slightly at the young vampire's strength, Niklaus hadn't been kidding. This little vampire was _strong. _

And her senses pick him up immediately and her head whips around. Their eyes meet and she casts a tiny nod in his direction, her stormy eyes filled with sorrow and regret.

He could practically read her thoughts, her pain.

_I'm so sorry. _

He tries to cast back his own thoughts, hoping that she will pick them up.

_It's not your fault. _

And it wasn't. He knows deep down that if Caroline had known about any of this, she would have tried to help Kol. She would have at least warned him. But now it was too late.

It was forever too late.

He watches as Caroline blurs past him, disappearing into light, not even caring anymore who sees her. He knows then that she will be fleeing with them at nightfall.

"Elijah."

The sound of her voice causes sudden tears to prick behind his eyes. His head turns and she's standing a mere foot away from him, her arms crossed in front of her chest and her chin raised in defiance.

"Elena," he whispers. Pain clenches his throat, an agony that he never thought he would feel while looking into her eyes.

He had fallen in love with this girl from the first moment that she had pulled the dagger from his chest. From then on, he had had such a desire to know her, to understand her, to see what makes her different from Tatia and from Katerina.

Tatia had been quiet, calm, and shy. It took him and his brother to get her to open up, to come into an agreement of friendship with all of them. Rebekah had been the one that had gotten her to become more free spirited, full of life and that is what caused his brother to fall head over heels for her. But he fell for the demure side of her. The side that was filled with wonder and love and happiness.

He could never make her chose between them. He never wanted too. And when she came to him that one night, telling him of her feelings and that she wanted to flee with him and her tiny daughter, he couldn't have been happier.

And then he found her dead less than an hour later, drained of her blood.

Katerina had been different from her ancestor. She had been kind, open to freedom, and just ran where the wind would take her. When she blew his way, her heart full of joy, he couldn't help his feelings. And his desire to save her. But his devotion and loyalty to his brother couldn't be broken and he hunted her until the very end. When his brother ordered him to slaughter her family, he couldn't. He wouldn't.

Elena Gilbert was a mix of the both of them. She had taken her ancestor's courage and her joy, the love of family and the desire to keep them safe. But when her family was ripped away, so was her heart.

He tried to understand why she would do something like this, though. He wanted to know so bad.

But then the thought of his baby brother screaming in agony and fear as he was being tortured by this girl, he just couldn't.

Family above all. Always had been and always would be.

He fights the tears that are sure to fall. He cannot look her in the eye.

"I was so in love with you," he breathes. He can hear her quick intake of breath and ignores it. "I was always there, waiting in the wings. As soon as you asked, I could have taken you away from all of this," he whispers. "I would have kept you safe."

He can hear her own tears spill over and doesn't bother to look her way.

"Nobody would have harmed you. You would never have had to choose, never would have had to worry about your brother or your friends. They would have been safe."

He knows that he's hit a nerve when he finally looks into her eyes. He can see the regret, the pain. And he finds that he feels nothing.

_Kol, sobbing and screaming in agony. _

_Finn dying in Sage's arms..._

He's numb. Absolutely numb.

"Caroline's leaving with us tonight," he says carefully. He sees her eyes widen for a split second before retracting. "She's done with this and so am I."

As he turns to leave, he hopes she will remain silent. He hopes with everything that he has that she will just stay silent because he is afraid of what he will do if she doesn't.

"Elijah-"

A growl ripples through his belly and his fangs begin to elongate for the first time in years. It's almost painful, like the first time that he had ever felt them slip through. He winces slightly at the pain and turns back, a mere breath away from her.

"You killed my brother!"

His eyes trace the pattern of veins in her neck. His father had once mentioned to him how a vampire's blood was even better than a human's. The taste, the feel of it sliding down your throat...absolute exhilaration.

But he can't do it. He _will not _do it.

"Goodbye Elena."

* * *

_His head is throbbing. _

_He lets out a small cry as he finds himself coming back from the unconscious, a hand going up to cup his forehead. It was like the one time that he and Niklaus had gotten a hold of their father's best ale and drank it all but then again, it was much worse. So much worse. _

_He feels a sticky substance coating his chest. His hand goes down and he sees the redness on his fingertips. _

_Blood. _

"_Oh, my God..." _

"_Elijah?" _

_His head shoots up and he sees Kol crawling towards him across the dirt covered floor. Blood is stained on his shirt and his long hair is mussed from being grabbed roughly. _

_And then it comes back to him. _

_Mikael offering them all wine. Them taking it..._

_And then white hot pain in his chest. A burning sensation that knocked him right off of his feet. _

"_Kol," he breathes out, holding out a hand. His sixteen year old brother takes it, their fingers tightly linking together. "Are you all right?" _

"_I think so," the boy breathes. "What happened?" _

"_Isn't it obvious?" Another voice breaks through the dim. They turn to see Finn across the room, slowly staggering to his feet. "Mother and Father have done something to us." _

"_But what?" asks Kol, looking more frightened then Elijah has ever seen him before. Gone was the boyish joy and replaced by fear. He never wanted to see that look in that precious boy's eyes. _

"_It will be all right, Kol," he tries to reassure the boy, helping him to his feet. "We are going to make it through this." _

_Little did he know how long it would be before they could actually break through, finding the ending of it all. _

_There is a sudden slamming of wood against concrete and the three brothers look up to see Mikael carting a young woman behind him as he went. _

"_There isn't much time, my sons," Mikael says quickly. He quickly pulls a dagger from his belt, the low candle light dancing off of it's crevices. _

_Elijah feels Kol shrink against him in fear. His arm comes up and circles his shoulders. "It's all right," he whispers. _

"_It will be all right after you drink," Mikael responds, having picked up his voice from where he was standing. And with one quick motion, he slit's the girl's wrist. _

_Blood drips down her arm, long slips of the scarlet substance like the heavenly rainfalls that they bless from above whenever they need a good crop year. _

_His eyes follow each drop. He can't help it. _

_It's so tantalizing. _

_He can feel his brothers fighting it. All three of them know, they just know. _

_And Kol is the first one to give in. _

_The cry of protest dies in his throat as he watches Kol lunge at the girl and grabbing onto her wrist, the flash of long fangs glittering in the candle light. _

"_Kol, no!" _

"_Stop it, Elijah!" Mikael pushes him back. "You and Niklaus, your impulse and your desire to protect your siblings. When are either of you ever going to learn that you need to be a man?! To grow up?" _

_He watches with horrified eyes as Kol's fangs slide down for the first time. _

_And he sees his little brother take his first steps to becoming one of the most dangerous creatures that walks the earth. _

* * *

Hot tears spill from his eyes, splashing onto his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, Kol," he whispers to nothing in particular. "I am so sorry I failed you."

* * *

**Goodbye, my beautiful Elejah. It's been a nice trip but I am officially hopping off of this ship. **

**If Elijah forgives Elena for the role that she played in Kol's death, I have lost all of my respect for the character. Seriously, does Julie Plec hate these other ships so much that she will set out to destroy them like this? Honestly, having Elena assist in murdering Kol to officially end any possibility of Elejah (even though Nina Dobrev and Daniel Gillies ship it), can it get any crueler?! **

**So in this, Elijah walks away from Elena. I've noticed that a lot of people are walking away from Elena because their lives have been nothing but miserable when they are around her...He finds that he can't forgive her for her role in Kol's death and he also has come to accept that Caroline is now a part of their family and that she will be fleeing with them because Damon will be looking to kill her. But most of the oneshot is focused on his guilt of being unable to protect his little brother. It's bugged me that they didn't at least show Elijah transitioning into a vampire in 3x08 so I wanted to write that into here that he transitioned with Finn and with Kol. **

**I'm sticking around for the Bonnie and the Klaroline. Even my Steroline has taken a back door for Stebekah of all things?! I mean, I like Stebekah but he is clearly using her and she is more interested in the cure than in her own family. God, I am so tired. **

**All of my Elejah fics are now officially up for adoption. For anyone that doesn't know about them, I have three up at the moment. **

**"but you will be safe in my arms"-Elijah realises that the only way to end Alaric is to end Elena and he asks for her to allow him to turn her into a vampire to which she consents too. It's a two parter and I never wrote part 2. **

**"dance in the winter sun"- au/ah fic where Elijah and Elena are engaged and come from two military families. Elijah is a captain in the US military and is shipped out for his third tour of duty in Iraq while Elena gets her orders to ship out to Germany to be the head nurse of a MASH camp over there. They desperately try to keep their romance alive while dealing with the perils of war. **

**"it will always be you and me"-au/ah fic where Elijah is a young history professor at NYU and he falls in love with student Elena Gilbert. It is set in 1984 when the first cases of HIV and AIDS are showing up in the United States and it's before it's realized that it can show up in hemophiliacs who need constant blood transfusions. Elena is a hemophiliac...**

**If anyone would like to claim any one of these, pm me and let me know. **


End file.
